2011: An AI War Odyssey – Day 1

2011: An AI War Odyssey

If it’s your first time checking this blog out, here’s some backstory:

I’m writing a long-running diary of my time with AI War in an attempt to understand more clearly its inner workings and to prove to myself and others that it’s not as impenetrable as the non-initiated may believe. Note that I am not an expert and will be astonished if I manage to beat both level-7 AI opponents. I have activated all the minor factions in the core game and all the expansion packs released to date to achieve maximum chaos throughout the campaign. Here’s a more in-depth Day 0 entry. Also, barring some gamechanging update, I’ll be keeping up to date with all the beta changes Arcen may put out while I’m playing the game. If it becomes excessively frequent, I’ll start later blog posts with the version number in case anyone’s curious.

Kilaelfu, mamacita, I just wanna sing Radiohead songs to you.

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Maybe it’s because I’ve been staring at this screen for at least a half hour, but I’m pretty sure I’d hit that. I know it’s just a static image to you, but the way that great green planet is orbiting like the Incredible Hulk let himself go and spent the rest of his days floating in a vat of pleasure fluid… It’s… I know ‘compelling’ should the word, but I keep gravitating to ‘xenophilic’. She’s so fucking special.

Admittedly, AI War has a pretty wire-thin art budget. We should probably count ourselves lucky that it isn’t all in ASCII. (Though, I have a fetish for ASCII. Chris Park, please include an ASCII mode soon.) Almost in spite of itself, there are nice little touches that are worth noting when you’re not panicking and BUILDING MORE DUDES. Which is to say, you have exactly the moment that you start the game until you pause it to take screenshots to enjoy the scenery.

I’m zoomed out just enough that the ships turn into reasonable facimiles of their fully-zoomed in and textured counterparts.

I tried to label everything I understand so far.
1. Orbital Command Station – Build Turrets, Engineer Drones, Support Ships and Constructor Ships from here. Basically your MCV from C&C. Just with less M. Like, approaching zero M.
2. Space Dock – Build your pewpewpews from here. Unlock higher tiers with your Science Ships.
3. Mercenary Space Dock – Build sexier pewpewpews from here at an inflated cost.
4. Starship Constructor – Build hulking space monstrosities from here. They all look tremendously appealing, but, of course, with a longer construction time.
5. Manufactories – Alternative methods to generating crystal and/or metal if your harvesters run out. While resource gathering is something to be concerned about, from the few games I’ve played, it’s not as all-consuming as, say, a Starcraft II macro game.
6. Energy Reactors – Energy is generally needed to build and power ships. The larger your fleet, the larger the footprint.
7. Human Cryogenic Pods/Settlements – These guys produce a little extra resources in exchange for being under the umbrella of your mighty fleet. Though, if they get got, there’s some hell to pay in the form of AI Progress.
8. Resources/Planet name – From left to right: Metal, Crystal, Knowledge and Power.
9. Journal Entry – The kickoff communique for the Fallen Spire campaign. More about this below.
10. AI Progress – Probably the most terrifying stat on the screen. This number increases in inverse proportion to my likelihood of surviving the next wave.
11. Shortcuts – If I really need to click on my home base and I’m away from Kilaelfu, I should be able to click on the ships along the bottom and check in on my Orbital Command center.
12. Ships on this planet – A great way to get a quick glimpse of what I’ve got hovering around the planet. Also handy for checking out enemy composition when/if AI ships flood the planet.
13. Science Ship/Force Field Generator – Knowledge is harvested by science ships. It’s also the most finite resource in the game. If ever you need an impetus to expand and take AI-controlled worlds, the chance to harvest more research to get faster and better toys is that impulse. Since, not only does the AI outnumber you, they probably have much better ships, especially at the later stages on the game. From what I gather, competently upgrading ships is the dividing line between the pretenders the AI picks their heat sinks with and the “Made of 90% Brain Instead of Water” crowd that routinely stomps the AI into submission and nursery rhyme recitation.

After taking a mental inventory of all the stats on the main screen, I have to take a knee for a while. I have to lie down for a while. I have to hide in a closet, wrap my head in a towel and quietly wet myself for a while. Then I remember my guiding light. Of the Spire. Well, “Fallen Spire” is the technical term for the campaign added by Light of the Spire. I just. I like to pun. I um. Fuck it.
I open my journal to see what the hubub is.

E-MAIL

Dear Dr. Michael Davidson,
I know you know, I mean, I hope you know. Like, how could you not, right? But I just hope, y’know, for your sake, that you know, y’know, that WE’RE AT WAR. WITH AIs. I GOTTA BUILD MORE MARINES. What, you think I can just call down some MULEs and magic that extra iron from my rearquarters?
Plus, you didn’t even proofread your email before you sent it. It’s not like you’re sending LOLcats to your grad students here. I’m the fucking COMMANDER. I can’t talk “street” like you hippies in academia. “We recommending constructing”? What kind of talk is that? No kind of talk I want coming from the mouths and fingertips of the LAST REMNANTS OF THE HUMAN GODDAMN RACE. You have a PhD, man. At least act like you earned it.

Look. I like you, Mike. Can I call you Mike? I’m gonna call you Mike, Mike. I’ll build your Survey ship. I’m just saying, y’know. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’. Feel?

TTYL,
Commander SPACE BEAR ATTACK.

Mike seems like a nice enough gent. I know I just gave him a hard time and all. Comes with being Commander. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. I can’t have gramatically inferior statements circulate all willy-nilly. I know it’s Science Fiction Post-Apocalypse, which is clearly the worst. Absolute worst. Worst taken to its end-logic. This is still no excuse for laxness in proofreading skills. On the plus side, he didn’t make any cracks about my name. Oh, the ribbing I endured as young SPACE ATTACK BEAR Jr. You think kids can be cruel? Try growing up in some shoddy outpost, constantly worrying ourselves to death about the machines. The machines? The Christing MACHINES. Crabs in a fucking bucket, we were. Now I’m Commander and your fate is in my hands, Stephen Jeffries! Who’s the underpants eater now, huh?

So, a quick trip to my Orbital Command Center. The Survey Ship is under my ECON tab. For good measure, I also build a couple extra engineering drones to speed things along.
Right. I’m still paused because I’m frightened. Most of my attempts at defenses for my home planet have failed in the past because the AI is a better man than I am. I know the rough guideline for starting defenses is 1 tractor beam turret with 5 others. I build a tractor beam turret, plus about 10 others (varying mix of missile, standard and flak) as well as a couple mine fields. It won’t do. It never will, but it’s a start.

Time to drone up.

First, I research Scout Drone Mk II. This’ll give me access to extra scout drones. I’m going to try to scout as far ahead as possible into my maze of chokeholds. Also, given how many weird minor factions I have skittering around the galaxy, it’s best for all involved if I can pin down at least a few of them.
As a holdover from my Starcraft II days (or day, really. Until I realized that watching it on gomTV was more fun than actually playing it.) I get panicky looking at all them resources. So I start churning out the dudes. I build all the scouts. All of them – for a grand total of 28. This basically means I should be able to push out a respectable distance, assuming minimal losses. It also assumes I don’t run into anything too psychotic in the process, which almost never happens. I also build 50 Space Planes, but I’m not going to send them on scouting missions. Keith helpfully pointed out that sending out ships with guns on a scouting mission is tantamount to dry humping a hornet’s nest in the blurry days of early September.

In short: I build a lot of things. I believe this will bring me good fortune.

It sends my economy into a tailspin.

And then, this:

Wait, WHAT?

WHOA WHOA WHOA.

Hang on here. What did. How did? Why the. What is this I don’t. AI Progress just doubled. DOUBLED.
Okay, it doubled from 10, which isn’t that bad. But it doubled!

I furiously look up what Spire Civilian Leaders are. I mean, come on, guys. I’m trying to save your asses. Does my boy Mike “Dr. Michael Davidson” Davidson know what you asshats are doing?
Right. Those 10 colonies of Spire Civilians scattered throughout the galaxy. Every hour, they bump up the AI’s progress for every one still under the control of the AI.This being hour 1, I suppose.

Priority 1: Build that goddamn survey ship and see what Mike wants.
Priority 2: Find all those civilians and assess whether I can rescue ‘em.
Priority 3: Find more iron.
Priority 4: DON’T DIE.
Priority 5: Locate data centres. Not to nix them immediately, but as insurance in case I need to reduce AI progress quick.

Godspeed, little scouts.

NEXT: The post in which I maybe kill something or otherwise get to the exciting bits.